he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
