having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
His nipple licking is glorious
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