he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
then he tried to convert me to islam
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize