Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
