So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
