i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
