I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
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