U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
