I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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