please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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