i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
