Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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