eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
is wine microwaveable?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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