Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
