Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
