i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
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