Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
