Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
