Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
