I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize