Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
