hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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