i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
