i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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