I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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