i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
