So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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