I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
