I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
