I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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