My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i've created a new STD.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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