she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
