I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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