just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
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