talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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