So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize