Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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