In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
