I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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