Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
