so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
