Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
