is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
