He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
