you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize