dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
