he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
