Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
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She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
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You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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