You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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