we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
