I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
