How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
