fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
