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He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
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