PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
