This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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