She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
