I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
