I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
