So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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