quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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