so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
