she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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