Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
