Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
