dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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